Inf-sanity

Ah ! My blog ! Its been Eons since I have written anything. Reason: Insanity ! The cause of this loss of sanity is that I have a mind to begin with. A very wandering, drifting, mercurial, hyperactive mind that cant seem to hold any thought with conviction. Ever since I got on that plane to the United states or maybe around that time, my mind has been engulfed by a veil of uncertainty that has never lifted. Its like the morning mist that lets you see for about a 100 ft but not any more, and of what you can see, you arent very clear about. I can always sense an air of panic and frustration around me. The simple reason and probably the correct one using Occam's Razor would be that I am afraid. The fear of the unknown is a very powerful fear. The unknown in this case is the future I have ahead of me. You see, I've lived in a shell for the most part of my life thus far. A nice picturesque city with a clear sky, good people, benevolent weather and a very laidback atmosphere. I assumed I had it all figured. The problem is one of purpose. Every mind on this planet asks itself that question at one time or the other. Some people ponder over the question, few peruse over it for a long time, while most just think it to be a passing phase and so it usually turns out. As a kid if you question the events and things that happen around you , you will eventually grown on to become an adult who will one day pose himself the question : "why am I here?" and "why do we do the things we do ?" . As time progresses you realize two things, one is that these questions have no absolute answer at all and two you like living and hence its much simpler to forget about them and think about the immediate goals/objectives/worries and live on. I think I have moved on from those questions and am done with them. They have long since passed by on the sands of time. But soon after, you reach the crossroads of your life. The time at which one has to choose what one hopes and wants to do for the remaining duration of his existence, of course the time is decided by the prevailing societal structure at the time. Now while one is on these crossroads, weighing his options and thinking deeply/ aka hesitating to make a move, he starts to get afraid. Every kid on this planet starts out by thinking that anything is possible and its just a matter of time before it happens, next a kid tries to learn his strengths and weaknesses to make that decisions and when the time comes to make it he wonders if his present strengths will continue to be so in the future that ensues. I guess thats where I am at. I know not whether my strengths today will continue to be so tomorrow. I know not whether the crossorads of life are now or if I am at a mirage thats making me question the very essence of me. Since College ended, I spend a great deal of time thinking of all the things I could've done and would've done if I knew the things I know now. I still keep thinking that I need more time. But the simple fact of matter is, time is the fairest thing in the whole wide world. Its always the same amount that everybody gets, not a measure more and not a measure less. Its entirely upto you what you do with it. And also that I still have a lot of it left. You always assume that your decision today will change the entire course of your journey drastically, but then again looking back you know that you've always done the thing thats been right for you all along. Things connect in the hindsight , quoting the late Steve Jobs. SO the only thing I can do or should do is to not mind the fact that my decisions alter my life but to accept the fact that ones life is made by the decisions he makes and when one look back they always seem to fit ! Wow ! That was a lot of self healing philosophical jibber jabber !

What I really wanted to blog about was about the human mind. I read this article , this wonderful concept that compares the Internet to the mind. When you ask an intelligent being a question it comes up with an answer and strangely Google does the same ! So saying that Google is an intelligent being may not be as absurd as it sounds. Here is the link for the article: http://blogs.hbr.org/stibel/2008/06/the-internet-is-a-brain.html

On a more geekier and hence a lighter note - I recently learned in class that while we were lallygagging and Gallivanting in our undergrad 2006 to now has been a golden era in VLSI and chip making, where lots of crazy advancements like the use of Hi-K dielectrics, metal gates and FinFETs are some of the things that the chip industry has been trying to implement to give us the 22nm ivybridge intel chips and possibly crazier stuff to come in the sub 22nm realm in the years to come. By another 8 years we will be in the 7nm realm and things are going to be mighty exciting. Prospective PhD's and MS grads - you feeling my riff here !!!!

Oh yeah I even dabbled with research this past year. And I must say working in an AMerican lab is a dream ! Its loads of fun. You have to get stuff done "all by your onesies", quoting Capt.Jack , and its mighty fun. I have been playing around with Magnets for the past year and man, they never cease to amaze you. I feel like an applied physicist. Yipppeee ! The Pink Floyd lyrics "In a world of Magnets and Miracles" is my favourite line in the history of music. Those guys nailed it. I even have two conference papers in my resume due to all this. Life has been good on that realm.

Some of the other harsh realities of life are that I utterly suck at cooking. Knowing the right measure of salt to add is not one of my strong points and hence doesnt help my cause . While in America , you get bored of Beer. Girls are girls everywhere, be it Indian or american, it doesnt matter . One needs a car to have fun in this country. Without a car you are simply handicapped.
Korean food is an absolute treat, but I am not in Korea anymore. Gainesville does not have a Betta ! American Onions make you cry a lot more than the indian ones do and yet they pale in comparison hen it comes to taste. I miss mango. Restaurant chains are everywhere and every city looks, smells and tastes the same. I miss Masala Dosa. I am way used to WiFi. A haircut is outrageously expensive. The Dollar conversion rates sucks.

Apart from that there is not much of a foreign feeling in the states. It just feels like home. No difference. So thats a plus, I think !!! (kind of a disappointment initially, but if you have roommates that cook good indian food... ! )

Alrighty then on that note/line I end this post. Good to be back blogging. Hope I write more. Till then , Adios, Sayonara, Cheerio !
Vikram signing off. Feel free to pen your thoughts.